i havent been around the world for quite a while… ive been hiding in this cave i call computer… havent even under the rays of the sun for a couple of hours in about a year… ive been totally a loss this year… where does the flexible and inevitable Gigi gone? am i still the same girl i know myself as me…AMBOT!

last night, rather this morning around 4am before i felt that my last ounce of consciousness has left me…i remembered evrything that ive done when i was living in my beloved province… and the difference ive noticed living in this so called fantasy world of gigi… In the past 1 year, after i graduated from college, i was totally certain that im going to a straight path that ive seen myself to be in the future… but then, this morning i slept feeling this big whole thats been wasted for a year… i was so busy that i never noticed that i never did anything, rather, important… i was blind for the whole year that i didnt see anything but only feel all the negative emotions and let it cover me entirely and do the reigning… now, what i see is a blur… a blur, that what i could only remember is the  last time, i really felt the true happiness and loss at the same time…

i thought what i did was real but now i realize it was all a dream… all i did was live with my so called internet friends… i had fallen in love with the heroes in the books ive read… i was inspired by those characters in the dramas i religiously watch… i even forgot that im a coffee person that i didnt noticed i havent been having a cup for two weeks already… and the worst, ive stopped going to church… well, not until last week… but was it real? am i going back to myself? GOD HELP ME…

maybe its really coming back… coz, i just received an email that ill be having a job interview next week…and i just had my coffee…

well, at least, ive seen some signs already…